Lessons from this year, part 1

1.) Fat happens

Exchange students gain weight. Actually, anyone put in a new and very stressful environment have the tendency to plump up. Accept it, and keep on living. Dont eat to relieve bordom or out of depression. That is the kicker. But, dont get to unhappy about it unless it spirals too out of control.

2.) School and education are different

School is a place where you learn skills for future jobs and day to day chores. It does not teach you everything, and you need to make up for that. Meet new people and let them become your teachers. They will teach you things without meaning to. Strangers will open your eyes if you let them. Mostly, ask questions. It doesnt matter if they are complicated, easy, stupid, spoken in caveman form, or whatever. Ask people about their history, about the history of their home, where they have been, what they have learned. If you think you can venture into the topic of politics, ask them why they hold the opinions they do. Visit places where history took place. Always take the tour if there is one. Go to places which people avoid for strange reasons, go to places filled with people, go to places that are off of the beaten path. Dont say you have seen enough. Even if places are similar, they are not the same. Observe people. Take metal notes about their personality, habits, actions, etc. Keep these in mind and dont be afraid to adopt them as your own. It will help you to express yourself in the best way.

3.) Dont be afraid to say "I dont understand"

People do not get upset if you say this. They will most of the time be happy that you said something beforehand. This will keep you out of trouble sometimes, because the loss of one detail can unravel everything. Also dont be afraid to use the past tense. "I didnt understand" can ease tension if something bad or negative happened, and can keep you in people good books more in the future. But, dont use this phrase unless it is true.

4.) Eat, then ask

Food taste is cultural and varies everywhere in the world. Some cultural group may thing something is discusting, even if you think it is normal. I.E. peanut butter. Part of one's education is trying new food. You may just find you like it, no matter the color or what it looks like. If you try something, it can avoid bad feeling with people, which can help both parties out in the long run. If you didnt like something in your childhood, try it again. Tastes change. I know I sound like the typical mother, but it is true.

5.) Dont mess with the Grandmother

Old people are smarter than you, have more authority, deserve respect, and really do try to do what they think is best for you. Dont try to change them by lecturing them about religion, language, cleanliness, habits, etc. You will inflict thier wrath upon you, and it is not pretty. Learnfrom them, ask them to tell you stories, laugh with them, dont get bored while looking through pictures. When they feed you, it is out of love. The denial of food is one of the worst thing you can do. Try to eat it (whatever 'it' is), unless it is against your beliefs, you have an alergie, or have have a REALLY good reason. If you feel sick, tell them and they will change things to suit your needs.

6.) Always say yes (within reason)

When people invite you places, go with them. Even if you dont like the activity, go anyway. You might find you like it, or plans may even change to something you like better. It is all about trying new things and spending time with people. You will gain stories to tell other in the future, new skills, and deeper bonds with people. Ask them questions, engage them in conversation, no matter how trivial it is. The effects in the future might be very positive. One activity that you dont like may turn into more invitations that you do like. Plus, people can profit from your company too. Note: this is not a drug reference. I still dont suggest those things that drive you to a dead end.

7.) Deny stereotypes

These things happen, but they need to be broken. Dont be afraid to be the quiet-spoken American or the smart blonde. Shock people. Make them see that everyone is different. It will most likely make them think better of you as a person too. Also, even better, discuss why the stereotype exhists. Its another chance to explore deeper into a new culture. The world needs more understanding, help it.

8.) Never leave your camera at home

Pictures are the best way to remember things, even if you are called an Asian tourist uncountable times. Shoot people, buildings, things close up, things far away, places you stay (hotels, etc. if they are interesting or memorable), friends, strangers, in the rain, in the sun, at night, sunsets and sunrises, and more. Back up your pictures on disks, online, and any other places you can think of. Share pictures becuase people want to know what you are doing. But, this doesnt mean you have to make public online photo albums of things that are only funny to you and one other person. Also, dont bury your head in the camera screen/viewfinder. Take time to look at things without thinking of what angle you want to get it from. Appreciate.

9.) Balence friends

No matter how many groups of friends, individual friends, family friend, etc, do not ignore one group or one person. Even if you dont spend a lot of time with somebody, doesnt mean you have to break the friendship. If you have plans with somebody, dont cancel it unless you have a very good excuse or an emergency. People will think you are trustworthy, which is a hard trait to earn and keep. Keep in communication. This doesnt have to be very time consuming like people think. 1-3 letters or post cards a year is plenty to keep on good terms with somebody and have a stable relashionship. If snail mail doesnt work, an email out of the blue is wonderful. Again, 3-5 a year is plenty. For younger people with worse communication habits, facebook and other blogs are fine, but can be too impersonal. Try to keep up email too.

Thats all I have time for now, but there are lots more forming in my head. Be on the lookout.